AnIndianStudent

2 weeks to go. I am absolutely taken down now. My marks are climbing from grave, very slowly, at a pace that it's futile. Fuck that girl in my class who always tops. My dream is aiims. She's achieving it while I am planning on taking long term. It's pathetic. It's useless. I am useless. I have no future planning. Why am I such a useless piece of shit?                  Actually less than two weeks. I am really sad about the idea of taking a long term. I will miss a year worth of life, studying the shit I've done before while all others will be fucking getting ahead in their fucking careers. What if i screw up my long-term too. Fuck me. I will just die. That's what I am going to do. I will die.             But I don't think I'll screw up my long term. If I don't get Outta of this state, I will never forgive my self. I should get out. I have to go north india. I have to go Jammu. That's 650 marks right there. I never got that much in my entire life.

I t starts today. My Neet prep. The long and hard grind stretched over a period of 36 days.  My procrastination is my biggest enemy. I promise that from today, only entertainment I'll be getting is either learning how to type or reading a novel. I'll stop watching YouTube and basically any other social media. I'll try my best.