Skip to main content

Fucking neet.

2 weeks to go. I am absolutely taken down now. My marks are climbing from grave, very slowly, at a pace that it's futile. Fuck that girl in my class who always tops. My dream is aiims. She's achieving it while I am planning on taking long term. It's pathetic. It's useless. I am useless. I have no future planning. Why am I such a useless piece of shit? 

                Actually less than two weeks. I am really sad about the idea of taking a long term. I will miss a year worth of life, studying the shit I've done before while all others will be fucking getting ahead in their fucking careers. What if i screw up my long-term too. Fuck me. I will just die. That's what I am going to do. I will die. 

           But I don't think I'll screw up my long term. If I don't get Outta of this state, I will never forgive my self. I should get out. I have to go north india. I have to go Jammu. That's 650 marks right there. I never got that much in my entire life. Fuck me. I am idiot.




Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Weight of Forever: Secrets Held in the Immortal's Diary.

 This is an interpretation of a diary of an immortal man. In this timeless diary of that person, the pages echo with the weight of endless memories, spanning civilizations, witnessing the rise and fall of nations. As centuries pass, the diary becomes a refuge- a repository of emotions rarely shared in a boundless time trapped in his own eternal isolation. Through it all the diary remains an eternal witness of the sheer human will as he travels through the eons. Statue of a figure in a glass box. 12th year:     This year I'm sure I'll join the school volleyball team. They have to take me in. I have defeated Jim in the monthly volleyball tournament. Also, Olivia is a mean little girl. Why does she have to punch me for proposing to her? She is not that pretty anyway. At least I can play on my console all night today cause Mom's at her cousin's. I would definitely finish that ice cream in the fridge, all by myself. 17th year:      Next year, I'll be 18. I will ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Into the Abyss of 'The Little Life': Unearthing Profound Pain, Healing, and the Search for Meaning

  10 Minutes read. A Picture of Jude from "a Little Life" by Hanya Yanagihara. This is a story of an man who is deformed both physically and mentally. Through the moments of vulnerability and heartache, the story embraces the resilience of the human soul, forging bonds that transcend the darkest depths of despair. All he has are his four friends who support and care for him. This is my review of a masterpiece. I may not be able to do justice to this book but I'll try my best.  Beware, This post will contain heavy spoilers for the book, "a Little life" by Hanya Yanagihara. Trigger warnings: Child Abuse and Child Hood trauma, Self harm and self destructive behavior, Sexual abuse and assault, Mental health Issues, Suicidal themes, Graphic violence, Drug and alcohol abuse, Sexual content, Terminal and Chronic illness, Emotional and Psychological trauma. This story consists of a number of characters. The main characters are, Jude St. Francis, William Ragnarsson, Jean...
Post a Comment
Read more

Reality strikes.

Well I apologize for not writing for so long. I promise to be regular from now. I will make a blog once a week for sure. Coming to neet. Well I scored about 550/720 with a AIR of 64000 and SR of about 1126. Its exactly what I expected but not I hoped for. Things are different after neet. A lot different than I imagined it to be. Despite of me scoring a average mark in neet, I am eligible for going to a med school in my state. Well its not aiims but I ain't got much of a choice. Well its not that forced too. Its okish. I convince myself by saying I got different goals. I'll live.  Now I don't really want to talk about my college choices because i think its too soon. So lets talk about other stuff going in my life right now. 1) I joined gym. Its good. I am getting fit. I hate the dieting part. I promise i am not working out for getting girls.I am doing it for myself. I deserve it. 2) Eternal boredom. I'm always bored. my passion for books diminished a bit. Am re-watching ...
1 comment
Read more